Jamie Jungers Wins Tiger Woods Mistress Pageant!
Radio magnate Howard Stern held his long-awaited beauty pageant for Tiger Woods’ mistresses Wednesday, with Jaime Jungers taking home the dubious honors.
To the victor goes a $75,000 cash prize. And that to the hush money he likely paid to keep her from blabbing to the press or Elin Woods, and she did pretty well!
Jamie Jungers‘ win came after she answered most of the leering questions the radio legend threw her way, including those about Woods’ anatomical endowments.
She’s a classy chick, no doubt.
Also competing in the contest, which is simultaneously sad, absurd and hilarious, were Loredana Jolie and Jaimee Grubbs, who pocketed $15,000 as runners-up.
Jamie Jungers takes home the prestigious honor.
It was no surprise to see Grubbs taking part in the pageant, given that she shamelessly sold Tiger Woods’ voicemail and has given umpteen interviews about him.
Loredana Jolie? No surprise there either. We would have loved to see a higher turnout, though. What else do you have going on, Cori Rist? Or you, Theresa Rogers?
Rachel Uchitel was barred from competing, due to her settlement with Tiger, which might have altered the results. Did the right woman win? Vote in our poll below!
Did Jamie deserve to win this prestigious honor, or should it have gone to another cocktail waitress? Which Tiger Woods mistress is the hottest?
Rachel Uchitel Barred From Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant
She’d be down, but due to her settlement with Tiger Woods, Rachel Uchitel cannot participate in the mistress beauty pageant that Howard Stern wants to throw.
Sad, we know. But this is Howard Stern we’re talking about. He is a resourceful, driven individual, and he’s not about to let this genius idea fall by the wayside.
One of Rachel’s friends approached Howard’s people today, asking that a cardboard version of Rachel in various states of dress could compete in the pageant.
Yes, really. Stern’s show is trying to put it together and offer a $100,000 prize. Best of all? He’s already got four Tiger Woods mistresses lined up to take part.
Living, breathing ones!
Rachel Uchitel was Tiger Woods’ favorite mistress, and the first to be exposed. She’d likely win a beauty contest of all of his mistresses, if she were allowed to take part.
He’s not saying who, but you know Jaimee Grubbs is game, and rest assured, a cardboard cutout of Rachel Uchitel could still easily win this title.
Joslyn James, Tiger? Really? Theresa Rogers? Honestly, dude?
In case you were unaware, the reason Uchitel can’t participate is because of the seven-figure deal she signed with his camp to keep quiet about their affair.
This apparently wouldn’t constitute discretion … wonder why.
Who do you think is the hottest Tiger Woods mistress?
Should Howard Stern Replace Simon Cowell?
On tomorrow night’s broadcast, Ellen DeGeneres officially joins the American Idol judging table.
While we’re looking forward to this debut, many viewers are already contemplating next season. Still shocked by the news of Simon Cowell’s exit, they’re left to wonder: who will replace this British icon?
Howard Stern has an idea: himself!
“I can’t imagine anyone else but me replacing [Cowell],” Stern said today. “How else are they going to make that show work? Who knows how to broadcast and who knows how to be interesting? And who’s not afraid to speak their mind?”
All good questions, but surely there’s someone out there that’s outspoken and more knowledgeable about music than he is about lesbians or sex toys.
Stern says quite clearly he’d do the show… if the money is right.
“It might be possible, we’ll see,” he said. “They’d have to pay me a ton of dough, because I already make a ton of dough.”
Stern’s five-year, $500 million contract with Sirius radio expires at the end of this year. Do you think he’d make a suitable replacement for Simon?
Howard Stern Livid at Artie Lange Suicide Report
Artie Lange, Howard Stern’s radio sidekick, landed in the hospital last weekend. News of his suicide attempt landed in New York Post’s Page Six a few days later.
It was the Post report that divulged how Artie stabbed himself nine times in attempted suicide. Surgeons were able to save Lange’s life after he got to the hospital.
The stand-up comedian’s family had been asking for privacy following reports that Lange was hospitalized, and Stern is pissed that the suicide report was leaked.
Stern personally had respected Artie’s wishes to keep the reason for his hospital trip private, but spoke out Thursday regarding Artie’s exposed personal problems:
“I would love to know who the scumbag is who releases that to the press. This is a private matter,” Stern said, lambasting whoever leaked the suicide details.
Details of Artie Lange’s suicide attempt deeply upset Howard Stern.
“I don’t know what to say. I work with Artie Lange, I love Artie. Everyone has their demons, including myself, but he’s wrestling with some serious stuff here.”
“When I heard the news it was too much to bear.”
“I’m pissed off the story got out there, pissed off at the $h!thead who got paid 10 bucks to talk to Page Six. This is a family matter. I don’t know what to say.”
The New York Post posted an article today from an October interview with Artie Lange, in which he talks about his life and myriad struggles with addiction.
We wish him the best as he tries to overcome obvious pain and struggles he’s endured lately, both physically and emotionally. Hopefully he’ll get well soon.